gatewaygroupies

Valentine's Massacre II: This time, it's personal

Some of you may remember last year's Valentine's Day Observable event at The Royale. We came, we drank, we performed the lyrics of our favorite love and love-to-hate-you songs, and some that didn't fit in any category, yet were still damned funny. Wildfire! That one still slays me.

This year, we're at it again, this time with two rock star emcees: Julie Dill and Byron Kerman. Here's how we're working it:

FIRST
Decide on a perfect song, one that fully encompasses your personal philosophy on love, relationships, sex, or the commercial empire that governs all things affectionate in these United States. Keep in mind, ODB's "Hey Dirtay (Baby I Got Your Money)" was pulled off with stellar skillz last year, so you'll want to pick something fresh this go round.

SECOND
E-mail that bad boy to observable.events@gmail.com , along with the creative and unique name you'd like to use on stage, and get put on "the list." This is a crucial step, folks, as we have to know what song you're performing by February 12th or you might not get to play with us. Don't ask us twelve times to put you on the list to do "D!ck in a Box" like you did last year. We reserve the right to refuse a song if it's lame. And it's first come, first served, so we won't be hearing two performances of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" this year.

THIRD
Practice, practice, practice. In front of a mirror, in front of your dog, in front of your grandma. Hone your skillz so you don't forget what you're doing after two or three beers. We want to see a precision operation, no matter what song you choose. Bring your words with you!

FINALLY
Show up the night of and make yourself known to be present, by whatever spectacle necessary. Show starts at 6:00. We'll do three blocks of 30 minute performances, on the hour through nine o'clock. The last block will be reserved for walk ins. Each set will be followed by sweet, sweet music. Performers will be assigned to the block of their choosing as long as spots are available. Come early and there will be plenty of time to eat, drink and be merry.

Alright, start raiding your mixed CDs for the perfect song, and keep checking back here for more details as they become available.

As you were.

reminder

Before the Fruitcakes! concert at the Grandel Theater, Dave Brinker (yes, that Dave Brinker) and a couple other people (one is the cellist for GMC, so we know we can make both gigs if she can) are performing for an intimate audience at The Homeport  in the Central West End. Don't take this the wrong way, but Dave is magic on the flute. Maybe if you're nice to him, he'll invite you to his annual wicked awesome Cincinatti Chili party.

From Dave's invitation:

Last year we were affectionately called Pluck & Blow. This year we'll
have to make it Pluck, Blow & Bow.

This Friday evening, Dec. 15, I'll be performing on flute along with
Brendan Hemmerle on Celtic harp and Marcia Mann on cello, at the
Homeport, 234 N. Euclid between Lindell & Maryland. We'll probably get
started around 6:30 and play until 8:30 or 9:00. Hear holiday favorites
along with an assortment of classical favorites and medieval
obscurities. While you're there, you can browse Homeport's selection of
fine items for the home...great for gifts. You can even make an evening
of it by following up with dinner at one of the Central West End's many
fine restaurants or a movie at the Chase.

an annual in a perennial world

Along with ice, sleet, snow and slush, December brings with it the three busiest weeks of our calendar year (what does "calendar year" mean, seriously?). On top of fantastic one-time only events, December is also home to the birthdays of (in order of appearance on the monthly calendar, not on earth) my father, my sister, me, Cathy and Jesus. Me, Cathy and Jesus—we tight.

This weekend features:

Friday, December 8: The start of the Independent Art Market, which runs all weekend long at the Shaw Art Gallery. Tonight is the 52nd City (not 52nd Street, as the egregiously erroring edit staff at the St. Louis Post Dispatch wrote)'s Variety Show. Stefene and Thomas worked hard at this, so come watch the fun!

Saturday, December 9: Sake, Sushi and Fashion at the Shaw Art Gallery, followed by bursts of poetry readings from local poets. I have it on good authority that THIS is the place to be seen Saturday night, because all the dorks in the area (including Laine and I) have to go to the rescheduled Saint Louis University Information Technology holiday cocktail party at Orlando Gardens. I know you're crushed that you won't get to hear me quickly mumble read year-old, stale poems for ten minutes, but you'll soon forget when you hear the real writers lay down their lyrical stylings. The fashion show is a must-see, too. You'll want to be on the inside when St. Louis as a center for indie fashion finally catches on, and you know we don't take on fence sitters once the sails take wind.

Friday, December 15th, we'll be at Fruitcakes!, the Gateway Men's Chorus Holiday Concert, thanks to Lisa B., who generously got us tickets as a thank you for putting her up for a weekend layover. If you've never watched these guys, you should! Feast your ears on the beautiful man voices of dozens of gorgeous, stylish guys in tuxedoes. Just make sure your shoes match your purse.

My birthday is the 17th, and it's a big one: The very first year I'll be 29 years old! As usual, Cathy and I are having our dynamic duo birthday party. This year, she gets the early shift from 7:00 to 8:00, and I get from 8:00 to 9:00. E-mail me if you don't know where the party is.

Then we get a bit of a breather before Mother Marschik comes to visit (no one ever calls her that), and we're having a nice, laid back holiday at home. No food poisoning this year! The Friday after Christmas, we're heading to the vineyards of Hermann, Missouri for our second annual B&B getaway at Hermann Hill Inn. And holy crap, by the time we get back, it'll be darn near New Years Eve!

Ask me when I'm going to fit Christmas shopping in there, I dare you.

Colleen McFar-out

So we headed into University City for a night out on the town. Ever since it opened, we've threatened to go to the Thai Pizza Kitchen for dinner, but we always change our minds at the last minute. This time, we'd decided we'd really do it, but it was closed for an expansion. So, gee darn, we had to eat at Thai Country Cafe again instead. Laine and I got there early, and were approached by a "Hello Dolly" crooning panhandler and a Gulf War veteran in need of a dollar while we waited on the corner for the rest of our party. We never carry cash into U-City because we live in the most dangerous city in America, you know. I've offered food to panhandlers and had it tossed back at me with a sneer. But that's another post. For dinner, we ordered the same things we always get, but this time, served to us by a long-haired dreamy James Iha look-alike waiter. The service was excellent, the food was hot and delightful, although my green curry was a tad on the mild side. I always order it spicy but I think the waiters have a picture of me in the back with the caption, "She always asks for spicy, but just give it to her medium. She doesn't know what she wants." My nose only ran a little bit.

After dinner, we jumped to the other end of the Delmar Loop for the release of Colleen McFarland's latest album, Beautiful Lie. The last time I saw Colleen perform, she sang a few songs with another band in a tiny night club waaaaaaaaay the hell out in Town and Country or something absurd like that. Todd, my good friend and long-time friend of Colleen's, drove us out there in his convertible. This time, she performed in the basement of the U-City hot spot, Cicero's. She wore a fuzzy black knit hat with a brim that our friend Tina predicted would make her head very hot, a la Pedro. And it did.

The music was very soulful, very slow, and almost dirgelike in places, quite the departure from her last album, 2001's Three Miles from Odessa, which features a number of quick-paced, poppy songs.

But it takes a brave person to sing for a band called "The Remedy" and its built-in assessment of the lead voice to be "The Ailment." Colleen's Patty Griffinesque/Emmy-Lou Harris-an/Dolly Parton-ite pipes definitely soared to the occasion. Colleen's voice dwarfed the demure, weaker back-up singer Mare Wakefield, whose attempt to sing two of her own songs triggered an increase in background noise to the point that Colleen had to start telling people to shut up once she resumed the lead. This was doubly funny because so many of the people there were her own friends and family, who'd reserved every table in the basement.

We left after the first set because the metal bar stools along the walls were numbing all our butts.

Pictures? You bet!

That's one hell of a hat.

On the way home, I was CRUSHED to see there I was missing a dress-up midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Tivoli. A white-corseted and skin-tight-bell-bottomed Magenta stood with a Riff-Raff in front of the theater. Had Laine not been so exhausted, and had I been prepared with my props, I would have insisted upon joining the fun, but it was not to be. Le sigh.