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Oh, Onesto...

So last night (Sunday), Onesto Pizza and Trattoria opened at the corner of Finkman and Macklind. No matter what anyone tells you, this restaurant is NOT in SoHa. It's in Princeton Heights, PrinHigh, if you're sassy. Sassy like a couple of the ladies we went to dinner with last night, who walked there from their PrinHigh house. Not that we SoHa folks don't want to claim the place, because it's destined to be ridiculously successful. We waited for a table for nearly 45 minutes on its inaugural evening, not too shabby for a Sunday night. It's totally non-smoking (Yay!) and according to the SoHa neighborhood listserv, they applied for their 3 a.m. liquor license months ago. Right now, their hours are a little less decadent, but that's okay.

This review is part one of 3, because opening night isn't really the greatest judge of a place. And I'm dying to go back anyway.

Our party of five tasted the following:

House Salad--delicious mixture of fancy spring greens and grape tomatoes + provel, baby!
Salami Roll--delicate, subtle, too small for 5 people! Great preview of the spot-on red sauce.
Red Wine--Il Bastardo, Mmmmm.
Meatball Stromboli--excellent crust, makes delicious leftovers
Lasagna--Frickin huge. Solid. But kinda cold.
Eggplant Parmesan--Frickin huge. Different. Zesty. Also kinda cold.
Fettucini Alfredo--Reasonably portioned! Served with a perfectly cooked egg yolk on top...unfortunately, the Alfredo eater also has an egg allergy.
Tiramasu--direct quote--doubtful claim: "I've had better tiramisu than this once." Incredulous challenge: "Oh yeah, Where???" Sophisticated answer: "Rome!"

We closed the place down with the two squares of tiramisu and five forks, and nobody licked the white chocolate or raspberry sauce (I assume) off the plate, but only because we were all too full.

Overall, our appetizer came 1 minute before our entrees, which were on the cold side, they forgot my salad until after my entree came (but it was free!), our doggie bags got mixed up a little (and I hardly ate my eggplant parmesan so I could warm it up for lunch and enjoy it hot! :(  ) and it took our charming waiter a little while to get our check right, but it was still totally worth the 45 minute wait to get a table (did I mention it was it's FIRST night!) and I believe this summer is going to be a lot of fun.

Wuv, Twoo Wuv.

Once upon a time, waaaay back over a week ago, we gathered in the warmly lit, romantic atmosphere of the Royale. We threw back a couple 'weizens and watched as our friends, colleagues and total strangers performed the lyrics to their favorite love ballads and kiss offs. We laughed, we cheered, we plotzed. We nosed our beer, we ran to the potty, and we had a wonderful time.

Believe it or not, people actually showed up!

The highlights:
We cried a little on the inside for Kim H.'s stunning portrayal of Michael Martin Murphy's "Wildfire"

We nosed our beers at Byron's epic interpretation of Jermaine Stewart's "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off."

We giggled profusely at Lynn's charming and adorable performance of Sesame Street's Ernie singing "I Want to Hold Your Ear."

There wasn't a dry seat in the house after Tina's stalker set, which she dedicated to American astronaut Lisa Nowak.

I cried like a little girl with a skinned knee and shit when young David Brinker brought Lynn back for an encore with a duet of Streisand's "You Don't Bring Me Flowers."

I think it was Janet's version of the kicked to the curb anthem "Santeria" that was weirdly synched up with the Ren and Stimpy episode playing in the bar.

So many memories. Who could forget the three dramatic costume changes of "The Vagabond"? Sasha's tribute to Sir Mixalot's "Baby Got Back," or Craig's off-color nailing of Led Zeppelin's "Dina-moe-hum."

But my personal favorite performance of the evening, hands down, was diminutive, blonde-haired Emily, holding her cell phone at arm's length, reading the lyrics to Old Dirty Bastard's, "Baby I Got Your Money." Hey. Dirtay. You did a damned fine job.

To the weird guy who wanted us to look up the lyrics to "Dick in a Box," uhh... And to everyone I didn't mention, it wasn't 'cause you sucked, it was 'cause I had two beers and you know what that does to my memory.

Here, have some pictures:

 

Love, Exciting and New

I'm more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants sort of gal, but for all you planners, here's the fudge on St. Valentine's Day, Wednesday, February 14, 2007.

Love is Observable: Observable Readings Does Valentine's Day @ the Royale, 8:00 p.m.

I've been through diamonds, I've been through minks, I've been through it all: love stinks. Are you single? Cynical? Both? Come congregate with your kind at The Royale on the night of Valentine's Day, with your Delilah-style hostess, Julie Dill. Sign up to vent your spleen on stage, or just watch as the loved and the lost render their favorite love songs, torch tunes, and kiss offs into performance poetry. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll drink beer and cocktails. And you'll forget all about what's-his-name. Come because you're angry, come because you're bored, but most of all, because love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain, oooh, love hurts.

Seriously, though the catharsis is more complete if you pick a gutwrencher, your song doesn't have to be a downer. We'll need a change-up after one of us polishes off her Debbie Gibson hat and lays her pain on the stage.

I'm stopping by Costco for a case of Kleenex. 

Tell your friends! Even better, bring them and don't tell them what it is! And who really needs an excuse to go the Royale?? Good food, great drinks, and superb company. You are welcome.

Quick Southampton List Serv Roundup

1. The Unidentifiable Ringing Noise on Neosho Between January and Macklind.

2. Referrals to Reputable Babysitters.

3. Neighborhood Potluck Wednesday at the Southampton Presbyterian Church.

4. The Attempted Break-in at our House on Monday.

5. The 60 pets removed from the condemned house at on Macklind that was apparently stinky every summer, but I never noticed.

6. The exercise equipment place at Kingshighway and Murdoch shut down and is being replaced with a donut shop. 'Cause I was just thinking, you know what St. Louis really needs?? Another 2 bit donut shop!