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Valentine's Massacre II: This time, it's personal

Some of you may remember last year's Valentine's Day Observable event at The Royale. We came, we drank, we performed the lyrics of our favorite love and love-to-hate-you songs, and some that didn't fit in any category, yet were still damned funny. Wildfire! That one still slays me.

This year, we're at it again, this time with two rock star emcees: Julie Dill and Byron Kerman. Here's how we're working it:

FIRST
Decide on a perfect song, one that fully encompasses your personal philosophy on love, relationships, sex, or the commercial empire that governs all things affectionate in these United States. Keep in mind, ODB's "Hey Dirtay (Baby I Got Your Money)" was pulled off with stellar skillz last year, so you'll want to pick something fresh this go round.

SECOND
E-mail that bad boy to observable.events@gmail.com , along with the creative and unique name you'd like to use on stage, and get put on "the list." This is a crucial step, folks, as we have to know what song you're performing by February 12th or you might not get to play with us. Don't ask us twelve times to put you on the list to do "D!ck in a Box" like you did last year. We reserve the right to refuse a song if it's lame. And it's first come, first served, so we won't be hearing two performances of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" this year.

THIRD
Practice, practice, practice. In front of a mirror, in front of your dog, in front of your grandma. Hone your skillz so you don't forget what you're doing after two or three beers. We want to see a precision operation, no matter what song you choose. Bring your words with you!

FINALLY
Show up the night of and make yourself known to be present, by whatever spectacle necessary. Show starts at 6:00. We'll do three blocks of 30 minute performances, on the hour through nine o'clock. The last block will be reserved for walk ins. Each set will be followed by sweet, sweet music. Performers will be assigned to the block of their choosing as long as spots are available. Come early and there will be plenty of time to eat, drink and be merry.

Alright, start raiding your mixed CDs for the perfect song, and keep checking back here for more details as they become available.

As you were.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Meet us tonight at The Royale for a decadent experience not to be matched elsewhere in the city.
You will put on your red dress, favorite bathrobe, lucky drawers, whatev. You will pick out your favorite 90's sentimental pop song, 80's hair band love ballad, 70's kiss-off Gloria Gaynor tune, or whatever pleases you. You will bring the lyrics on a sheet of paper. You will sign up at 7:30 at the Royale (3132 S. Kingshighway), and at 8:00, you will lay down those lyrics like the saddest, most drama-filled, angst-ridden thing you've ever read to an audience.  And they will *love* you for it. It's fun. It's quirky. It's free.

And when you go to work on Thursday morning and that gal who sits in the cube next to you starts shoving her stupid Vermont Teddy Bear in your face, she'll see that gleam in your eye and she'll notice. She'll interrogate you at length, and you can tell her, no, you did not sit home on Valentine's Day crying into a bowl of Cheetos while you watched C.O.P.S., Thank You Very Much! You chose to go out to The Royale to read the lyrics to The Thong Song and that has made all the difference.

That is all.

Bienvenido a St. Louis, Winter!

Let's just get the cliches over with, shall we? If you don't like the weather in St. Louis, wait a minute. But at least it's a wet cold! Cold enough for ya?

It was 73 degrees here yesterday. Today, it is 31 and dropping, it's sleeting, with a promise of a quarter inch of ice under 6 to 8 inches of snow by tomorrow. Major delays at the airport, about a hundred schools closed or closing early, my office manager has placed a TV on her desk and every weather dude on TV is having a conniption fit. T minus two hours and counting until every St. Louisan spontaneously forgets how to drive.

Welcome to St. Louis, winter! How we've missed you! It's not been cold enough to kill mosquitoes for the last three years, and the local news is replaying footage from an almost 25-year-old snowstorm to prepare its citizens for the worst. I remember the snowstorm of 1982. This is no snowstorm of 1982.

In other news, it hit 80 degrees a couple times while we were in Hotlanta. I think I unintentionally came home with a slight tan. I also came home with a rotten cold that has had me miserable since Sunday.

Hola Deciembre!

Neighborhood ListServ Roundup

I subscribe to my neighborhood's e-mail list serv. This is sometimes entertaining on many levels, but more often than not, it only leads to much forehead smacking and disaffected muttering. But since I've spent all week goofing off at home every evening instead of taking advantage of our stellar International Film Festival, I must present to you the first half of November's Southampton Neighborhood list serv topics.

How many trick-or-treaters did YOU get? Nottingham Ave was off the chain. Note: people routinely reserve their good candy for their immediate neighbors and friends and everyone else gets Smarties and soggy Necco wafers. City life can be so very cruel. When I was begging-age in rural Missouri, we had to drive a half hour to a subdivision to find people who gave out good candy. One very special house gave out cans of cold soda and full-sized candy bars. Fancy.

Stem Cell Research! With the impending mid-term elections, someone posted with a general (and honest) question about stem cell research and someone else replied to all that he/she should just vote no if he/she doesn't understand the issue. Dogpile! It was brilliant. Perhaps the first time I've watched an adult argument unfold on this listserv. It definitely beats the heck out of the ubiquitous noise ordinance arguments that make me want to smack people. [If you can't handle noise, DON'T LIVE IN THE CITY!!! Sorry.] Everyone was polite and respectful and minds were actually changed. I like to think the stem cell research amendment passed because of intelligent discussions like these.

Macklind Avenue Business Boosters Macklind is the new Euclid. Not really, but we're getting lots of new businesses lately. The previously reviewed Murdoch Perk is a raving success according to the listserv. There's tell of an upscale antique store to open at the end of the month in the old photography studio at Maclind and Nottingham, and Macklind Deli will be open by the end of the month, as well!Don't miss HomeEco's open house party this Friday, and the Saturday after Thanksgiving, the deli is holding a a preview of coming attractions.

St. Louis City Leash Laws: Last but certainly not least, the listserv was ABUZZ with people griping about the blatant disregard for city leash laws. Months ago, some lady's two purebred dogs were attacked by someone's dog that ran out the front door of his house. If you're inclined to let your dog off its lead, beware. The leash-law abiding dog owners of Southampton Neighborhood are armed to the teeth and really cheesed off. Mace, tasers, and brickbats abound. Makes a gal glad to own a cat who's afraid of the front door.